I’ve stated this before: I’m going to be a developer.
Teaching yourself how to do it is hard. There are more resources than ever on the web to learn, but there’s this strange post-modern guilt I feel for having such access and still going through struggles. Good taste to create great things requires a very critical mind and it’s the owner of that critical mind that suffers its wrath the most.
Since I’m learning on my own, there are times I get stuck on things and get really frustrated. Hours trying to debug some incredibly trivial shit. And since I’ve always been a mega anxiety eater my whole life, there’s this huge cycle of feel bad, binge eat, feel worse, try to get back to project, not have enough confidence to go on for the day because of earlier failures, and ultimately fighting the next day. It’s a nasty process.
I can’t control how fast I go at this point. I can’t control what project is done next week. I can’t control how fast I’ll grasp jQuery and I can’t control how fast I can debug something that’s crashing my local server.
There are two things I can control though:
How many hours of sincere effort I put in a day and the food I put in my body. Whether or not I solve my psycopg2 problem is another issue, whether my milestone for creating my social media site by July is another as well.
I can control those two things. I can own those.
I can own them.
only art students/art enthusiasts will get how cool this watch is
literally everyone knows who salvador dali is
I freakin love photoshop
photoshop? you clearly haven’t been to one of these
I have lost a lot of my ability to love people. I think this is good because I don’t get burned. Trifle things don’t linger the way they used to. You move on and you grow up and you forget. But I can’t help wondering if becoming colder to protect myself from useless pains has detracted from my capacity to love completely the people I do care for. And I wonder if having no promise to love people the way I formerly did - with so much enthusiasm and excitement and hope - has effectively sabotaged a future me into not going out on a limb for someone when it would have mattered the most.
I used to go into every day with this optimistic truism: today is a new day. One of these new days, I will find someone who will love me as much as I love them. In former days, the prospect of someone amazing reciprocating my own capacity for loving was exciting and led to such rosy and fantastic daydreaming. Nowadays, jaded and tired and skeptical of fucking everything, not so much.
Any love that we have for anyone is directly rooted in time. Even if someone you love or loved in the past makes a lasting impact on you for the rest of your life, lasting impact is merely knowledge, which is an intellectual phenomenon, whereas sentiment is an emotional one. Knowledge becomes wisdom, but sentiment decays and often decays to nothing.
The way I see it, every person I meet is someone who will likely mean nothing to me.
Ahh shit look who it is the white Russell Simmons.
Drunk. Reading. This is important for me to remember. I’m actually fairly close to becoming a developer but lack all the tech know-how of a programmer. I’ve been so confused about requirements lately so this is eye opening and corroborates what I already know.
Although I’ll probably start off as a dev, I want to be a really good full stack programmer - web and mobile when I’m not trying to be the CEO of my own shit. Good money and far more interesting problems.
“In captivity, in the shed, Pierre had learned, not with his mind, but with his whole being, his life, that man is created for happiness, that happiness is within him, in the satisfying of natural human needs, and that all unhappiness comes not from lack, but from superfluity; but now, in these…
On a positive note about a very real phenomenon, I feel that the one great thing about the quarter life crisis is that if you can overcome it and overcome it within the decade, you are still an incredibly young person.
Pierre had to get his father’s inheritance, marry a woman he didn’t love, find God, become a mason, and nearly get killed during the French seizure of Moscow before he realized what happiness is.
Today, you might have a crisis (a horrible crisis that no one understands and people misdiagnose as youthful apathy and shit) but once you overcome it, you still have so much time and perspective to get back in the game quickly.
That’s something you just don’t get when you’re past 40 and realizing the potential emptiness of life and the future.
I remember reading that Hemingway could never commit himself to a woman for fear that she would leave him before he could.
I get that.
Check out this mix on @8tracks: Fourteenth: A Story of Love & Loneliness (pt. II) by drivelous.
Part II of my Valentine’s Day mix for the heartbroken and hopeless romantics.
Tracklist for (pt. II)
1. Beck - Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes
2. Spoon - I Summon You
3. The Helio Sequence - Lately
4. Death Cab For Cutie - A Lack of Color
5. John Lennon - Oh My Love
6. The Morning Benders - Excuses
7. The Last Shadow Puppets - My Mistakes Were Made For You
8. Beach House - 10 Mile Stereo
9. Kings of Convenience - Boat Behind
10. Feist - The Limit to Your Love
11. Thao & the Get Down Stay Down - Know Better Learn Faster
12. Girls - Laura
13. Grizzly Bear - Ready, Able
14. Cursive - From the Hips
15. Frank Ocean - Thinkin’ Bout You (Ryan Hemsworth Bootleg)
16. Constantines - Islands in the Stream
17. Best Coast - Our Deal
18. Wild Nothing - Shadow
***THE GRAND FINALE***
19. The Postal Service Such Great Heights
20. Crystal Fighters - At Home
21. Arctic Monkeys - 505
22. Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
23. The Knife - Heartbeats (Live)
24. Mr. Little Jeans - The Suburbs (Arcade Fire Cover)
Check out this mix on @8tracks: Fourteenth: A Story of Love & Loneliness by drivelous.
Valentine’s Day mix on 8tracks for the heartbroken and the hopeless romantics.
Tracklist for (pt. I)
1. Girls - Heartbreaker
2. Camera Obscura - French Navy
3. Broken Social Scene - Sweetest Kill
4. Noah and the Whale - Blue Skies
5. Beck - Lost Cause
6. AlunaGoerge - Outlines
7. Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism
8. Feist - Gatekeeper
9. Au Revoir Simone- Shadows
10. Great Lake Swimmers - Where in the World Are You Now?
11. Animal Collective - Bluish
12. Daft Punk - Something About Us
13. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - Belong
14. Flight Facilities - Crave You (Radio Edit)
15. Bright Eyes - First Day of My Life
16. Beirut - Postcards From Italy
17. Bloc Party - This Modern Love
18. Tiny Vipers - Dreamer
19. Cults - You Know What I Mean
20. Cass McCombs - You Saved My Life
21. Camera Obscura - Lloyd I’m Ready to Be Heartbroken
22. Arctic Monkeys - Only Ones Who Know
23. Cut Copy - Need You Now (Album Version)
24. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
25. Cat Power- Sea of Love
Nothing makes me feel older than enjoying whiskey and espresso and coming home to watch The West Wing.
Nothing in this world beats a good old fashioned. Goddamn.
Check out this mix on @8tracks: Turnt Down, Chillt up (pt. II) by drivelous.
Turnt Down, Chillt up (pt. II)
Second installment. I forgot to post this up a while back.
I put a lot of effort into my mixes. I’m like Rob from High Fidelity. 25 days after I made it and I still bump it all the time, so I hope you love this as much as I do.
Pretty lonely here trying to find people in San Diego who just want to get drunk and listen to Flume and Huglife remixes with. On another note, I’m not sure who I’m going to Coachella with.
Where you at? Let’s fucking hang doe. Send me a message.
Nothing beats a good slice of cake with a good americano. Goddamn goddamn.